Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize