Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
In America we eat man semen.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
