ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
