On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
