I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Cover your peen. We're going out.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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