It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize