YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
