he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Randomize
