I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
