So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
