you guys were way drunker than both of me
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
