I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
