the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
