haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
