SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
