Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
