And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
