He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
