yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
