Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Randomize
