I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
