I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
