We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
