with your own penis?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
