sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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