i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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