Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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