why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
