rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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