Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
