i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
