I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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