I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Randomize
