What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
