Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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