It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
