remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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