So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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