hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
