your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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