have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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