My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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