and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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