Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
