Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
