he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
