Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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