can u get pink eye on your cock?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
