One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
