I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
