ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you will always have a special place in my vag
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
