I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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