dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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