i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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