I wish I could teleport
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
You can't special order awesome
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
