i think my mom watched the whole time
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
