he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize