I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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